Life is too short to read a bad book.
Thursday, November 02, 2006,10:35 AM
Wedding Planning and Meltdowns
So I took the afternoon off of work yesterday. Job's been getting to me again. Anyway, Mom was in town and wanted to meet for lunch. I work about 10 miles out of town so I didn't want to have to go into town for lunch and then go all the way back to work. So, since I took the afternoon off, my sister thought it'd be a great day to go shopping for bridesmaid's dresses. Foolish Girl.

We started off at David's Bridal and found some beautiful dresses. Victorial Lilac I think is the color. My sister's colors are purple, but she wants the bridesmaid's to pick the dresses. So kiddo loves to try on clothes. I hate it. It's really a phobia with me ~ just like getting weighed at the doctor's. Anyway, I thought I could get away with just kiddo trying on the dresses and then they could just measure me so that they could order my size (they only had 2 sizes in ~ neither of them were mine). Nope, they didn't go for it. They had me try on the dress in a different color, so I requested the dress size I thought I'd wear. Nope, didn't fit. So I went up a size. That didn't fit either. And so on. And so on. By the time I'd tried on a few different dress styles and I was completely humiliated. And then I felt it coming. My throat got tight and scratchy ~ my eyes started to water and I knew if anybody asked to me to say one word I was going to lose it. Literally. The wedding consultant lady was nice enough to take me back to a private room but that was just the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to leave, go pull the covers over my head and just hide. It was awful.

Next stop was Step'n Out Formal Wear. We walk in and look at the dresses. This time I'm not trying anything on. If I had to try one more thing on someone was going to have to scoop me off the floor and lock me in a room with rubber walls. But kiddo tried on quite a few. And then she tried on this black tea-length gown. The saleslady calls it the ribbon dress. I saw kiddo in that dress and I started crying all over again. When did she grow up? She has hips. She has a waist. And she has a figure. And I'm thinking that she's my baby and she's beautiful and she just looks so grown up. Back to the dress ~ it's beautiful. It's two-layers of fabric. The bottom layer is a solid color and the top layer is victorian lace dyed to match the solid color underneath. Then at the bottom of the lace, thin strings of ribbon (maybe on inch) are woven through the holes of the fabric. It's just beautiful. I had the saleslady measure me because all they had in stock was a size 10 (size 10 in a formal ~ yeah, I don't think so). She assured me I'll look "just lovely" in the dress and I'm just going to love it. It is a great dress.

My poor sister. I wonder how bad she's regretting having me in her wedding now? I'm really not a drama queen. I'm just out of my comfort zone a little bit. Anyway ~ that's my first installmant of the Wedding Planning Anxieties 101. I'm sure there'll be plenty more before the big day in April.


posted by Dev | Permalink |


  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger ames

    I've been in a few wedding parties. I hate trying on clothes too. BLAH


    How old is kiddo?

  • At 11:08 AM, Blogger Lori

    (((hugs))) keep your eye on the prize. On the big day you can get plastered at the wedding and forget all about trying on dresses :)

  • At 11:28 AM, Blogger Mailyn

    Man I didn't know you had something too. What is it? Depressive disorder? It sucks, I know, cuz I cry for no reason as well and also when I get into a situation I don't want to be in. I can see how trying on dresses, if you hate that stuff, would push you over the edge. Maybe you can explain to your kid sister? I am sure she will understand that it's not your thing.

    I actually like trying on clothes but that's cuz I'm a clothes whore. LOL. Although lately I do get panicky for no reason and have to leave the mall. Sometimes I even buy the clothes w/o trying it on.

    I hope you feel better soon but, honestly, if this is stressful for you I say explain to the sis. I am sure she loves you and doesn't want you to be upset just to make her happy. Or you can always reach the agreement that, if you feel you have to leave then you will do so, no questions asked. My mom and I do this and it works great. I just tell her "we have to go now" and that's our cue and she doesn't ask anything. Just up and goes. I do this with my close friends as well.

    I find I deal with things better when I have some control over the situation, especially the leaving if it gets too stressful.

    I hope this helps. :-)


  • At 1:07 PM, Blogger Devonna

    Ames ~ Kiddo's 14. She's my niece but I've been her second parent since the day she was born.

    Lori ~ Very much true. The hard part is over (for now anyway) I'm sure there will be fittings along the way. I just hate trying on clothes.

    Ames ~ I don't think I really have anything ~ maybe a mild anxiety disorder but nothing really problematic. I just have a very bad body image so I hate, hate, hate trying on clothes. It's worse than death for me.

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger Valeen

    And seriously --- you'd think that this would be a day that they would want to make a girl feel good about herself, no?? Oh no. The stupid dressmakers make all the dresses super small.

    I've been out trying on wedding dresses and my regular size just so isn't going to happen. Nothing like making a girl feel bigger than she really is on her special day.

    Hope you are feeling better now! My baby sister is 14 but thankfully there are no hips in sight ... hehe, I don't think I could handle that.

  • At 1:30 PM, Blogger Devonna

    Valeen ~ The hard part is over at least for now. The only shopping I enjoy is for books, groceries, or for anything kitchen related". Otherwise it's torture. What is it with the European sizing anyway? If I go to a store knowing my size, I want my size ~ not something that makes me feel like Mount Kilimanjaro.

  • At 1:31 PM, Blogger Jenster

    Why do these little girls have to grow up?? My baby is 12 and, while she's not exactly looking like a woman, she's getting past the little girl stage. **sigh**

    I'm with you. I hate trying on dresses. It sounds to me like you did great, though. The dress you ordered sounds beautiful.


  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger Devonna

    Jen ~ The dress we've decided on is here:

    We are still going to look at one more place before placing the final order, but I'm pretty sure this is the dress that we'll be wearing. In Iris since purple is the wedding color. I personally like the black better :-)

  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger Mailyn

    I'm sorry about the bad body image. I wish I could help in some way but if you ever need to talk you can email me: and I can help. I'm good at advice and things like that. Just ask Dance Chica! :-)


  • At 4:18 PM, Blogger Lori

    Oh, Devonna, that is a really pretty dress! I could never wear it *pout* - I have no boobs. But I love it!

  • At 5:21 PM, Blogger Kristie (J)

    That is a pretty dress!! I can so relate to trying on clothes and wanting to go into a corner, or hide in bed when I'm done. ((((hugs))))

  • At 7:42 PM, Blogger Stacy~

    I know a little about what you feel, so while I don't necessarily hate trying on clothes, I've had my moments of insecurity and anxiety over it. last year I was in my friend's wedding, and I felt like the ugly duckling LOL. Luckily I loved the dress, but it's not fun.

    It's a cute dress Devonna, and I bet it'll look great with your coloring - in black, too. I don't have the body to pull off that dress. I need to be fully covered *g* One of these days I gotta find a picture....scary stuff. Seriously :)

  • At 8:01 PM, Blogger Jenster

    What a pretty dress, Devonna. I have no doubt you'll be beautiful!


  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger Isabel

    Oh I love that dress!!! It's so cute. I got my dress and bridal party dress at David's Bridal. I think they make all formal dresses big. I remember trying on my size and I couldn't breathe. Even the dress that was my size had be let out in the back. If I went one more size up, it would cost more to take it in. Big pain.

  • At 10:49 AM, Blogger CindyS

    I swear they make you buy the bigger dresses so they can get you to pay to take it in. They ordered me a size 16 when I was a size 10 (back when I got married). Then there was the fitting. Yeah, loads of fun.

    It's not you Devonna, it's the dressmakers marking up for profits. That's why they only ever have (normally in Canada anyways) one dress in a huge size for everyone in the world to try on. Completely ridiculous!

    That dress is gorgeous - the iris colour, is it the really dark purple because that looks fantastic!

    I've only ever been a maid of honor once and never again and I was a bride once and never again ;) God forbid I ever had to get married again, it would be by a minister with me wearing jeans ;)



  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger Dylan

    Awww you poor thing, but that dress is really cute, I like it!

    I'm not a mini skinny little thing and I hate trying clothes on, but you're fabulous with or without the dress sweetie...remember that!


  • At 8:14 PM, Blogger Rosie

    Devonna, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I can relate. I am 17 years older than my youngest sister. We have two sisters between us who were in her wedding...I was not. Not only was I a size 16 when everyone else was an 8 to 10, but I was so much older. My Mom tried to make me try bridesmaids dresses on baby sister finally told her to leave me alone.

    It was still a great day and I participated in the ceremony in another way. Weddings are just all around stressful until the actual event.

    I'm with Lori, project to the happy day when you will be celebrating. Thankfully, as you said, the worst of it is hopefully behind you. Cute dress by the way!

  • At 8:16 PM, Blogger romancelover

    Nice dress...I wonder if you're experiencing the same thing Carrie in SATC experienced...anxiety...except she was the one getting married and she got a rash. I don't know. Weddings are pretty stressful and being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility. I've never been, but it's got to be stressful. Hang in there, Devonna!

  • At 7:59 PM, Blogger Devonna

    Mailyn ~ Thanks!

    Lori ~ I don't think I'll have any problems keeping it up. I have a bit of a surplus in that area.

    Kristie~ It's awful, really. I hate trying on clothes. It doesn't matter what kind they are. It's awful for me.

    Stacy ~ The dress will be in purple. I personally like the black. Wonder if I could dye it when the wedding was over?

    Jen ~ Thanks. And, I may even have a date for this shindig.

    Isabel ~ I know formals are made smaller, but ouch. It was awful. I need to lose weight before this thing. And they'll alter it down for free.

    CindyS ~ This is my 3rd time being maid of honor. I don't remember ever wigging out about a stupid dress before. But then again, I was much younger those times around.

    Dylan ~ Thanks. I needed that.

    Rosie ~ The other two bridesmaid's are tiny ~ My niece is a size 8 and my sister's future sister-in-law is a size 4. A size 4?! That's not normal.

    Daniela ~ I evidently don't think I have enough to do because I'm also catering this thing. I'm sure I have plenty more meltdowns to come.

  • At 8:51 PM, Blogger romancelover

    CATERING? aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!! YOU'LL BE GREAT, NO will be busy.

  • At 8:11 AM, Blogger Devonna

    Daniela ~ I'm a big believer in overextending myself. :-)