Life is too short to read a bad book.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007,8:28 AM
Be Careful What You Wish For
Well, where do I start?

I have a date on Saturday.

And I don't want to go. Really, I do not want to go.

See, the thing is I'm ridiculously monogomous. To the point where if I'm interested in someone, that's it for me. I don't even look at other guys. Ever.

A few weeks back, I came to the conclusion that I just need to give up on Mr. Crush. I'm tired of waiting. I'm 38, I've never been married, and I'm tired of coming home to an empty house. Trust me, I look around and all I see is what's missing. Someone to share my life with. Someone to just be there ~ someone to sit with, someone to talk to, someone to just be with. Deep down, I think Mr. Crush could be that for me. I know he could. I know this isn't one-sided. I know when he looks at me ~ there's just a look.

So, I was talking to my best friend and said the following 5 words that set this all in motion: I need to start dating. And thus sealed my fate.

I'm not a dater. Never have been. I don't trust easy and I'm not good around people I don't know. So the one-on-one thing has never been a good option for me. I've dated, sure. But I always knew the guy well first.

So, last night I went to meet my best friend at her work and was talking to another friend of mine while I waited for her. Anyway, this friend has a friend who's single and is looking. So, this friend called her friend and he wants to meet me. (This all went on without my knowledge, by the way). So, evidently we're all going out as a group. And I don't want to. Really, I really don't.

Going back to the ridiculously monogomous thing. I want Mr. Crush, even though I need to give up on him, I still want him. I don't want this Larry person. I want Mr. Crush to open his stupid blind beautiful blue eyes and follow-up on the damn flirting he's been doing with me for way too long.

So, what do I do? Do I go out with this Larry person even though I've never met him, even though I know I'm not interested? Do I lay the gauntlet down with Mr. Crush and tell him he just needs to jump on it? Do I just chalk it all up to bad timing and move on? Do I tell Mr. Crush I have a date in the hopes that maybe he'll realize that I have other options? And does that seem too much like I'm using this Larry person to do that, because I don't want to do that either.

I really hate this. And I really hate the fact that my friends have done this to me, even though I'm the one who opened my big mouth and said I needed to start dating.

Okay ~ yes, I do need to start dating. If it's not going to happen with Mr. Crush, it's bound to happen with someone else right? But I need to date in order to find out, don't I?

I really, really hate this.

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posted by Dev | Permalink |


13 Comments:


  • At 9:48 AM, Blogger Jen

    Firstly, go out on the date with Larry. He might be really nice - and I met my hubby under very similar circumstances. You just never know.

    At least it is a group date and you will not be alone with him if he does turn out to be a weirdo.

    As for Mr. Crush - give me his name and phone number and I will settle the whole thing for you! (Only kidding)

    Seriously, if Mr. Crush knows you are out doing other stuff, it might wake him up a bit - and if he is not interested in you Sweets, he is insane!

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger Crystal

    I had a crush on this guy back in high school. We were pretty good friends. He was fun to be around. He also had a girl friend who he started dating a year before I clued in that I had a crush on him. They just broke up in 2003. My youngest sister gets around, big time. I hate to even admit she's my sister, sometimes. Anyways be darned if she didn't date this guy I had the crush on for 2 years. She ditched him back in 2005. I have been with my common-law for almost 10 years, but had a really hard time when my sister was dating the crush. I clued in to the fact that I've never gotten over this guy.

    I'm not one for dating myself. It's so hard to find the right person. I can't say I'm with the love of my life right now, but I think we are compatable. We've never broke up in the 10 years we've been together. And we've had some pretty hard times. We hardly ever fight. We don't keep secrets. He accepts the fact that I'm not perfect (I'm about 80 pounds over weight. He is a hard-worker, and a good provider. He really is my best friend. And I'm happy with that.

    I couldn't imagine being single at this stage of my life. I hope everything works out for you Dev

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger Isabel

    I think you should go. Joey and I met on a blind date. At first I didn't want to meet him. Didn't sound like my type and i was just freaking tired of dating.

    I also think, you should talk to Mr. Crush. Even if he doesn't return the feelings, at you know you told him how you felt.

     
  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger Holly

    I think you should go, too, if only to say you did. MM and I met under almost exactly the same circumstances (a friend of mine told a friend of his that I wanted to meet him while his friend told him the exact same thing, then I got roped into a group outing and the rest is history) so you never know, this Larry guy could be your lobster.

    Or, this Larry guy could be the boost you need to either get over Crush boy or get on with telling him how you really feel. Either way not a bad situation.

    But I'll tell you this...going out with him in a group setting does NOT mean you have to give him your # or go on a follow up date. It's just a group outing, babe.

     
  • At 5:18 PM, Blogger Rosie

    I vote go out with Larry guy too. What can it hurt in a group date. I also agree with whoever said he might not be the man of your dreams but it could be the jump start you need to get our of the Mr. Crush doldrums.

    Also, I know you are shy, but why not invite Mr. Crush for coffee for lunch and if he doesn't get the picture you are interested you can at least move on.

     
  • At 5:05 AM, Blogger Stacy~

    I agree that you should go too. I know it's hard, but just remember it's one date, not a commitment, and who knows? You might at least get Mr. Crush to notice, to find someone who you could imagine being with.

    Being single isn't the worst thing in the world, but at least you gotta try. I can't imagine you settling, but I think there are more guys out there than just Mr. Crush, and the only way to meet them to jump in the dating game. I hope you have a good time Dev. Hugs.

     
  • At 6:00 AM, Blogger nath

    Well I'm just going to add my voice to all those who said you should go... maybe he'll be the one, maybe not... however, even if he's not, you might have fun and gain a new friend :D Seriously, you got nothing to lose and plus, it's a group date.

    However, you might want to tell your best friend not to do it again without telling you :P

     
  • At 11:38 AM, Blogger Dev

    I've decided I'm gong to go and have fun and scope him out for a few of my friends. It couldn't hurt, hm?

     
  • At 8:31 PM, Blogger Jenster

    Yea! I'm glad you're going to go and have fun. Even if he doesn't float your boat there's no reason you can't have a good time with friends.

    I'll come with Jen and have a little "talk" with Mr. Crush if you want us to. :o)

     
  • At 8:52 PM, Blogger Kristie (J)

    And I'm adding my vote also to the go out with him group. You might have a thing for Mr. Crush, but this blind date might just be the one to help you get over it. And if it's in a group, the pressure is off. Just go with an open mind, maybe he's the one, maybe he's not, but if you don't go, you'll never know.

     
  • At 8:35 AM, Blogger Zeek

    Scope him out for your friends! lol!

    Look, Mr. Crush would have asked you out if was interested in you in that way- or made it painfully obvious he's interested. It's just the way men are.

    It is NOT a reflection on you though, I say its his loss and shame on him for not wanting you so much that he'd defeat any shyness- or whatever's holding him back- to get you! Do not dismiss larry guy because you think Mr. Crush is the one.

    If you go on the date, and indeed Larry guy is NOT your type. Well, at least you gave it a shot.

    I'm sorry if I came off too harsh on Mr. Crush- but I'm tired of seeing good women not grabbed up because of men's stupidity. Hee!

     
  • At 9:00 PM, Blogger Jodi_Lee

    Yes, go on the date. Yes, make sure Mr. Crush knows (in an indiscreet way). Ignore Mr. Crush on purpose. Boys always want what they can't have. It's been that way since the beginning of time. If he doesn't seem to care...well, there is your answer.

     
  • At 2:54 AM, Blogger CindyS

    I'm late but I hope you went and had fun! Crushes are the worst when neither of you can step up. Luckily for me my last crush was Bob and he had the balls to ask me out because I'm pretty sure I would have just loved from afar.

    CindyS